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Wife: Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband : Nothing. Wife : Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?? Husband : I was just looking 4 the expiry date. ********** Q - What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ? A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so. ********** Wife : Do you want dinner? Husband : Sure, what are my choices? Wife : Yes and no. ********** Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why? Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears. Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you? Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?" ********** Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ********** Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap. ********** A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" ********** Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." ********** Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? " Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" Millionaire: " Billionaire" ********** Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever. The guy replies: Thanks for the warning ********** A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor. Laloo goes 2 a shop n
asks: "Ye Bandarva ka Photu kitne ka hai re..?" **♥** Galib ek din bewafa
premika k ghar k bahar su-su karte pakda gaya or bola: **♥** Naukrani: Malkin aap udaas kyon hain? Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte hai. Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte **♥** **♥** Ek car se tota takra k
behosh ho gaya, **♥** Judge: U r
crossing the limits. **♥** Some time when i
cry no 1 c my tears, when i am worried no 1 c my pain, when i am happy no 1 c my
smile, **♥** Aap Dil mango, de
denge! **♥** Baap: Beta is bar exam
main tujhe 90% lane hai, kuch bhi kar.. **♥** Kanjus baap beta se:
kaha gaya tha? Ek kanjoos k ghar ko
aag lag gai, **♥** Boy- Suit bada
achcha pehna hai..!! **♥** 1. Nazro ka
milna, **♥** If engineers
start making films, the names will be: **♥** Patthar se Dosti, jaan
ko khatra. **♥** Mom: Soja varna
GABBAR aajaiga **♥** A khuda aaj
barsat ho jaye, kam se kam ek katori pani bhar jaye, **♥** Boy Friend:
"tumhare ghar gaya tha, mujhe nahi lagta humari shadi ho payegi" |
..
Sharabi ne Doctor se pucha: Aap meri Sharaab chudva sakte ho? Doctor:Haan kyoun nahi. Sharabi: To Police ne meri 20 bottle pakdi hai, Plz chudva do...!!!!!!
**♥**
Ek ladka gadhe k samne
gir gaya,
Ek khubsurt ladki ne dekha or kaha - "apne bade bhaiya k pair chhu
rahe ho Very good boy"
Ladka- ha bhabhi ji!
**♥**
Patni:Wo sharabi dekh rahe ho,10 sal pehle maine usse shadi k liye inkar kiya tha or wo aj tak pi raha hai. Pati:Wah itni lambi celebration.
**♥**
Ek Aadmi kabar par baitha tha. Musafir ne poocha - darr nahi lagta? Aadmi: Darney ki kya baat hai. andar garmi lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya.
**♥**
Cust:Ye Bakra Kitne Ka
H?
Salesman:
500Rs
Cust: Itna Sasta?
Salesman:China Ka Hai
Koi
Guarantee Nhi
Ho Sakta Hai Kal Se
Bhaukna Shuru Krde.
**♥**
Ganja-Going On
Road,Bird Shits On Head
"Hey Bhagwan Ye Kya Hua?
Bhagwan-Bacha Tu itni
Dhupme Ja Raha He,Maito Sirf Sunscreen Lotion Dala hai.
**♥**
When a Girl friend visit in hospital to meet u with flowers he says 'get well soon' & goes But When a True friend visit in hospital to meet u he sits near u & says 'yaar nurse pataka hai aram se thik hona.
**♥**
BOY:Mujhse shaadi
karogi..
GIRL:Kyaaa??
BOY:Achhi film hai Naa..
GIRL:Kutte K
Bachhe..
BOY:Wat??
GIRL:Kitne cute hote hai na.
**♥**
Techr-active se pasive me badlo "bache jb sunsan
jagho pe chale jate hai to hadso ko jnam dete hai".studnt-sunsan jagho pe hue
hadse hi bacho ko jnam dete hai.
**♥**
Biwi: suniye, aap ko
dono me se kya jyada achcha lagta hai? meri khubsurti ya meri
akalmandi?
Husband: mujhe to tumhari ye mazak kerne ki aadat sab se achchi
lagti hai..!!!
**♥**
Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey
**♥**
Ladka shadi ke
liye Ladki dekhne gaya, usse akele me baat karte hue-
Ladki(darte darte)-
"bhaiya aap kitne bhai bahan ho?"
Ladka- "abhi tak to 3 the ab 4 ho
gaye".
**♥**
Newton ne
apple niche girte dekha aur Gravity ki khoj ki.
usko ye pucho ki 25 saal se
sandas karta tha, wo kya upar jata tha? sala chutiya bana gaya
sabko.
**♥**
Porpose karne
ka naya style..!
Chand ko tor dunga, Suraj ko phor dunga, Tu ek bar haan
karde buss..
Pahli wali ko chor dunga!
**♥**
a boy went 2
meet his LOVE, when he returned home his mom asked "kaha gaye the?"
boy-
"girl friend se milne"
mom- "kisliye?"
boy- "haan bahot kiss
liye"
**♥**
Ek chaay wala ek ladki ko dekh kar gana gata hai:- "bholi si surat aankhon me masti dur khadi muskaye aay haaye…… Ladki kahti hai:- "kali si surat hath me ketli thele me khada chillaye... chaay chaay.
**♥**
Ek Ganje k sir
par do Baal the, dono ko aapas mein Pyar ho gaya, Shadi bhi karna chahte the
magar kar na sake..Batao kyu?????
kyon ki Baal Vivah apradh hai...!
**♥**
Teacher-
'aisa kaun sa kaam hai jo 5 ladke ek sath kar sakte hai, par 5 ladkiya kabhi
nahi kar sakti?'
student- 'sir ek hi Balti me susu'
**♥**
1 Good reason Why India can never win against australia? Its all in the name: The last 3 alphabets of australia says ‘lia’ And India says ‘dia’
**♥**
Pappu- wo ladki
behri hai.
Raju- Kaise?
Pappu- Maine use I LOVE U kaha to boli
"Maine
kal hi naya sandal kharida he."
Laloo goes 2 a shop n
asks: "Ye Bandarva ka Photu kitne ka hai re..?" **♥** Galib ek din bewafa
premika k ghar k bahar su-su karte pakda gaya or bola: **♥** Naukrani: Malkin aap
udaas kyon hain? Malkin: Tumhare sahab apne office ki kisi ladki se pyaar karte
hai. Naukrani: Nahin, sahab mujhe dhokha nahin de sakte **♥** **♥** Ek car se tota takra k
behosh ho gaya, **♥** Judge: U r
crossing the limits. **♥** Some time when i
cry no 1 c my tears, when i am worried no 1 c my pain, when i am happy no 1 c my
smile, **♥** Aap Dil mango, de
denge! **♥** Baap: Beta is bar exam
main tujhe 90% lane hai, kuch bhi kar.. **♥** Kanjus baap beta se:
kaha gaya tha? Ek kanjoos k ghar ko
aag lag gai, **♥** Boy- Suit bada
achcha pehna hai..!! **♥** 1. Nazro ka
milna, **♥** If engineers
start making films, the names will be: **♥** Patthar se Dosti, jaan
ko khatra. **♥** Mom: Soja varna
GABBAR aajaiga **♥** A khuda aaj
barsat ho jaye, kam se kam ek katori pani bhar jaye, **♥** Boy Friend:
"tumhare ghar gaya tha, mujhe nahi lagta humari shadi ho payegi" **♥** Q: Aisi ki taisi
kab hoti hai?
Shopkeeper: "wo phutva nahi
saheb" Wo to Seesa hai...!
''tere pyar me yu
dukhi hai galib, ki ansu bhi niklte hai raste badal badal
kar'!
Similarity between Gandhiji, Salmaan khan &
Mallika? Dono ne apne kapde tyag diye, Gandhi Ji ne Desh k liye, Salmaan ne Aish
k liye aur Mallika ne Cash k liye.
1 admi tota ko ghar le gaya, pinzre me rakha, khana diya. tab
tota jag k bola- AAILA JAIL? car ka driver mar gaya kya ???
Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge: How dare
you call me saala?
Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun Sa "Law" aisa kehta
hai?
lekin 1 din date par kya chale jao sare Dost aur rishtedar dekh lete
hai
DHADKAN mango, de denge!
JIGAR mango, de denge!
JAAN tak manglo,
to de sakte hain
kyounki charo film ki VCD ghar par pari hai!
Beta: Nahi Bapu, main to is bar 100%
launga...!
Baap: Kyon Mazak kar raha hai..?
Beta: Shuru kisne
kiya..?!!
Beta: Girl friend k sath tha!
Baap gusse se: kitna kharcha
kiya?
Beta: 250/-
Baap: 250/-!
Beta: us k pass itna hi
tha!
wo apne ghar ko bacha nahi saka...
kyoki wo sari raat fire
brigade walo ko misssed call marta raha.
Girl- Thanks
Boy- Lipistic bahut achchi lagai
hai..!!
Girl- Thanks
Boy- Makeup bhi bahut achcha kiya hai..!!
Girl-
Thanks Bhaiya
Boy- phir bhi Sunder nahi lag rahi.
2. Sharmana,
3. Ghabrana,
4. Thori si Hasna,
5. Phone no.
dena,
6. Miss Call,
7. Sms,
8. Calls,
9.
Milna,
10.Proposal....
Result: Dus Bahane Kar K Le Gaya Dil.....!
"Current ho na ho", "Aa ab B.Tech
karen", "Hamari IC aap k pas hai", "Fuse lagaya to darna kya", "Engineer no.1",
"Engineering koi khel nahi", "Input wale output le jayenge", "Maine engineering
kyu kiya!!"
Sardar se Dosti, dimag ko khatra.
Daru se Dosti, Liver ko
khatra.
Hum se Dosti, rat be rat SMS ka khatra. Mujhse Dosti
Karoge
Boy: pehle 100 rupeye do
Mom: "kyoun"?
Boy:"varna main
Papa ko bata dunga mere sone k baad gabbar aata hai..............."
Jo mujhe SMS na kare
uska Mobile usme doob jaye,
Na rahega Phone...
Na bajegi Tone.....!
Girl Friend:
"kyu mere papa se mile kya?"
Boy Friend: "nahi tumhari bahan se..!!!"
.........................
Ans: Jab loose motion lagi hon aur
pajame ki gaanth na khule
